Sometimes the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may not feel good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as "soul sickness". Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun to recover. Sometime's there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness. Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason. A return to the old feelings doesn't mean we're back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we have failed at recovery. They do not mean we're in for a long, painful session of feeling bad. They just are there. The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, having fun. Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love. If the old feelings come back, for certain there is a way out that will work.
Today, if I find myself in a dark pit, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.
from the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie